A Little Mortgage Broker Humor

If you’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere or frozen in an iceberg or something, you might not have heard that lending standards have tightened considerably.  The rest of us however, have been hearing it a lot.  Mortgage brokers, however don’t just get the headlines- they’ve been inundated with constantly changing guidelines from ever more paranoid lenders.  Consequently, when I saw the following "guidelines" being passed around the internet, I thought they were pretty funny:  [Hat tip to L for this version!]

[My apologies for the "mortgage speak," but I figured that most Doomers would get the drift!]

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3 Comments for this entry

  1. Asset Hunter says:

    I’m laughing, but through my disappointment… :-(

    I thought (hoped) this was real, and that someone who was looking to purchase a property (or 5) as investment for cash… and for positive cashflow… would no longer be competing on properties & prices with no-doc, no down, no credit, no SSN, no ability to repay unless the prices skyrocket and the planets align just right types who seem to have no idea how to run a calculator or run a business on an income / expense basis.

    Oh well… maybe some day…

    it is funny though :-)

  2. metroplexual says:

    Not to be funny but I think I qualify! I have Heterachromia.

  3. DCBeacon says:

    That’s right, Asset Hunter.

    My wife and I have been looking to spend up to 600k for a townhouse in the DC area, and we’re still amazed that we cannot “afford” a nice 3-bedroom in a decent area.

    Our greatest hope is that half the demand evaporates with these tighter credit policies, leaving us in a position to buy what we want for about 525k/20% down/7% on a 30 year fixed (just south of jumbo) loan.

    We expect this to happen for us and everyone else with solid credit, incomes, and money in the bank, but we also expect it to take until next spring for the prices to fall the additional 20%..our target market prices have already fallen about 15% over the last year.

    I wish everyone stopped looking at this market trend as a disaster and respected it for the corrction back to fundamentals that it is. Those who will take a financial beating will still have their health (hopefully) and a ton more wisdom for their future financial decision-making.

    Oh, and this weekend we’re each being fitted for a blue contact lens. :-)

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